The Choice Is Up To You!

This is looks like a good kit and reasonably priced!  

SIMPLIFY INFUSION KITS

The great news is that you can do this yourself with a Vanilla Bean and a bottle of Brandy (yes you can use vodka but I like the caramel coloring and added flavor of Brandy).  Fortunately I have a local store that sells wonderful vanilla beans and any Home Goods or craft store will have a decorative bottle, but any long neck glass bottle will work!  

I score the vanilla bean and put it in the bottle then fill with brandy.  I use 2 or 3 vanilla beans for a larger bottle.   I then let it sit for at least 6 weeks to 2 months.  

I use it for cooking and baking but I have a friend who even uses it when they make home made ice cream!  The longer it sits...the stronger the vanilla flavor.  After using some of the vanilla be sure to fill the bottle up with more Brandy.  You don't have to wait another 6 weeks just continue to use and let the vanilla bean do it's job.

The best part...it's a fraction of the cost of natural vanilla in the grocery store and is sooooo much more flavorable!

Thunder Dog

Recently, I've been reading the book Thunder Dog ( http://www.amazon.com/Thunder-Dog-Story-Triumph-Ground/dp/140020304X ), about Michael Hingson and his dog Roselle.  It's a story of perseverance and overcoming the most overwhelming odds but it's also a story of love.

Worrywart!

Why worry, when you can pray?
Trust Jesus, He’ll be your stay.
Don’t be a doubting Thomas,
Rest fully on His promise,
Why worry, worry, worry, worry when you can pray?

As far back as my memory will allow, I remember singing these lyrics in a catchy little tune.  The message was as simple as the song itself, but then, life was simple. 

Sometimes I think I’ve become jaded enough to think, “Yeah, Yeah, pray, pray, I know, but what if God doesn’t come through in this instance.”  After all, I know people who deal with all kinds of maladies and they pray, and pray, and pray, and difference.  I’m sure in times of dire persecution through history, Christians have prayed and have still lost their lives.  Maybe I’m bordering on blasphemy but hold on, there’s a point to my rambling.

I recently ran into a friend who has had quite possibly the worst summer on record, with one crisis on the heels of another crisis.  She tried to put up a positive front and even admitted that it was hard to remain positive.  Then she said something that I’ve thought, and said many times before.  She looked at me and sighed “I really don’t know what I would do without my faith.”  It was one of those times when the words you have heard a million times really hit you dead on.  I knew exactly what she meant.

I’ve thought about our conversation and her so much since then.  She needs peace in her life and I need to pray for her to keep her focus on God, His strength and the peace that comes by knowing that He is truly in control of it ALL. 

I have to admit, I am not the worrier in our house, Hubby is.  Repeatedly, I have resorted to telling him, “You are worrying about something that may never happen and things in our life that we never anticipated, happened without our worrying about it!”

The verse that I return to time and time again in my life says it all:  Jeremiah 29:11 - I know what I'm doing. I have it all planned out - plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for. (msg)
Why worry, when you can pray?

Hope -less -full

Life seems so overwhelming. From the minute I open my eyes in the morning to when I finally drag my sorry butt to bed, I feel like I am always behind and can’t possibly get everything done that I intended to in that day. Of course, my expectations were unrealistic to begin with and for every item crossed off of the “To Do” list, more were added. I remember when I was young we had gerbils, Chip and Dale, whose lives consisted of eating, sleeping, and running on their rodent wheel, over and over and over. While they never seemed to mind the repetition, I become irritated when my life takes on such redundant patterns.


Lately, my priorities seem to be shifting. There are things that I’ve wanted to do in life, and yet never pursued them. Maybe it’s a type of midlife crisis but I’ve decided it’s up to me to set some goals. Either way, the bucket list is going to get smaller. I’m reminded of a story of a marathon runner who astounded his opponents by his outstanding accomplishments:


In 1984 of the Tokyo International Marathon, one Japanese athlete Yamada unexpectedly won the world championship. When reporters asked what made him such a startling success he said,

"Use wisdom to defeat opponent." Many people didn't believe him. Since running Marathons is the sport requires both physical strength and endurance, his response seemed unusual.

Two years later, at the Italian International Marathon, Yamada won the championship again. Again a reporter asked him, "You have won the championship again. Can you talk about your experience?" Yamada answered the reporter the same as last time, "I use wisdom to defeat opponent." Everyone was puzzled by his so-called “wisdom”.

Ten years later, the mystery was finally discovered. Yamada wrote his autobiography and he said,

"Before each game, I will travel the whole route and check it carefully. I will mark some important signs alone the road, such as the first mark is a bank, the second mark is a tree, and the third mark is a red house, thus mark to the end. When the race begins, I run as fast as I can towards the first goal, the bank. When I arrive at the bank, I will strive for the second goal, the tree. I break the whole marathon route into many small goals and finish them one by one easily. At first I don't know this method and set my goal at the end of the 40 kilometers marathon. Usually I get exhausted in the first 10 kilometers because I am frightened by the remote distance."

Therein lies the rub. If I look at the large ominous goals, I will give up and become disappointed and a bitter person. It is up to me to break down the large goals into lots of tiny little smaller goals that are do-able. Even realizing this as my new plan gives me hope.

Hope that my life isn’t just what it’s become day after day after day.

Hope that my life can be full.

Hope in things unseen but hoped for.

Hope.

Depression

Will the stars shine again?
Can I forget their glow?
It is so very dark,
Grief I seem to know.

The clouds have gathered 'round me,
But God is in control.
It feels that I am half,
And never will be whole.

Depression seems to grab your heart,
And never let you go,
But still I have a life,
And it hurts me so.

Whatever things are good,
I choose to love the Lord.
Knowing that the things once stolen,
Will one day be restored.
         --Beverly Tina Childs

Life in a vacuum sucks!

Webster defines “Vacuum” as “a state of isolation from outside influences - “people who live in a vacuum…so that the world outside them is of no moment. W. S. Maugham”

I vaguely remember being a teenager. I remember that I was very self absorbed and that all I cared about was people who I perceived to be my friends, what they were thinking and what they were doing. I’m sure that I had brief moments when reality surfaced and I stepped outside of my selfishness, but they were scarce.

I don’t know why I should be surprised when I see or hear the callous disregard for family and friends by today’s teenagers and young adults, but I am. I wish that somehow I could help them to step outside of the situation and let them observe the hurt that their actions are inflicting on people who love and care about them. I wish that I could show them that the actions and decisions that they are making now, will stay with them the rest of their lives. That even if they are fortunate enough not to incur physical damage, they will carry emotional scars with them forever. No doubt that they will come to a point when they wish that they could take back hurtful words or actions, but what is done, is done. All we can wish for is understanding loved ones who take us at and forgive us for our worst, even when we don’t ask.

Thankfully, in time I realized that there was so much more to life and the world than my tiny universe. It actually was a gradual process of maturing and learning that when we give to others the return is so sweet. It may have been at one of my stints at summer camp but it could have been even earlier in one of my childhood Sunday school classes that someone introduced the true JOY concept; Jesus then Others then You = JOY. It seems so simple but so on the mark.

As Blaise Pascal said, “There is a God shaped vacuum in every heart.” It stands to reason that it is a vacuum that can only be filled by God when we put him first in our lives in every way, which includes treating others as He would want us to. It isn’t natural for us to want to put ourselves after God and Others but thankfully He gives us that ability. The ability to realize that we don’t live in a lonely, hopeless vacuum but rather one filled with support and love and warmth. All we have to do is step aside.

"May I be an enemy to no one and the friend of what abides eternally.
May I never quarrel with those nearest me, and be reconciled quickly if I should.
May I never plot evil against others, and if anyone plot evil against me,
may I escape unharmed and without the need to hurt anyone else.
May I love, seek and attain only what is good.
May I desire happiness for all and harbor envy for none.
May I never find joy in the misfortune of one who has wronged me.
May I never wait for the rebuke of others, but always rebuke myself until I make reparation.
May I gain no victory that harms me or my opponent.
May I reconcile friends who are mad at each other.
May I, insofar as I can, give all necessary help to my friends and to all who are in need.
May I never fail a friend in trouble.
May I be able to soften the pain of the
grief stricken and give them comforting words.
May I respect myself.
May I always maintain control of my emotions.
May I habituate myself to be gentle, and never angry with others because of circumstances.
May I never discuss the wicked or what they have done, but know good people and follow in their footsteps.
[Prayer to practice the Golden Rule]"
— Eusebius

MS is not my life!

Sad but true that while MS is not my life, it controls an awful lot of the decisions that I make and actions that I take. I don't think that the reality of this hit me at first.

My lower legs and feet had gone numb. At first, I suspected that I had pinched a nerve in my back and it would pass if I took enough ibuprofen. Five MRIs later, I thought it was going to be one of those phantom things that the doctors can never explain but seem to take care of itself over time. I didn't like the first Neurologist that I saw, so I went to one that had treated my daughter for her migranes. I liked his personality and calm demeaner. He reasoned with me that the only way that we could rule out a number of other possibilities was to have a spinal tap. A SPINAL TAP!?! You know where they put a really long needle in your back and you could have a bad "spinal headache" if the hole didn't close up completely, as happened to my dear daughter. After his assurance that he would use a finer needle and take every precaution, I consented to be his human pin custion. Three weeks later on April 24, 2004, the verdict was in. I have MS.

The interesting thing about hearing the diagnosis is that even though you have an answer to the question, you have no relief or satisfaction. I'm sure to those who suffer from symptoms for many years, it is a relief to finally know what the has been the cause. I knew very little about MS and what I was hearing, I didn't like. At first, I didn't want to talk to other people who had MS because I obviously wasn't like them. The only problem with that reasoning was that I exactly like them.

I was trying to figure out whether to go on meds. I was trying to figure out how to make it through an 8 hours day AND get all the family stuff done. I was trying to figure out how to battle rubber arms and legs in the heat. I was trying to figure out what happened to my reasoning and clear thinking. I was trying to keep my balance. All of a sudden, I realized how much comfort I received from "talking" to MSers. They really had good advice on dealing with the summer heat and fatigue, on the meds and side effects, and could sympathize with the bad days or weeks (as the case may be).

As I started to get past my denial, I wasn't as afraid of MS taking over my life. Yes, I have to respect the limitations that MS brings and I have to plan my actions a little more, but I can honestly say, MS is not my life.